I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Randomize
