Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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