dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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