pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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