Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
