Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Randomize
