did you get engaged???
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
