in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
