You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
