I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
actually, I'm a sock model
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
