As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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