four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize