i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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