so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
The adults are the big ones right?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
