Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
