You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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