I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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