it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
