well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize