He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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