Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
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