omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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