are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
