We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Randomize
