She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
He passed out mid-signature
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
