Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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