you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
