Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
