Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
