Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize
