do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
