im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
