it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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