the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
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