i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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