see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
false alarm, still single
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