my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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