Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
