We're facebook friends in real life
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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