Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I need to sanitize my soul.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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