I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
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