Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
