apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
