So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I could fuck to npr.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
