well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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