Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
