just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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