Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
