How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
