My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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