the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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