I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
