Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
And my parents said I crawled through the house
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
