ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
