I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
