Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
