Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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