Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Randomize
