Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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