I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
