Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
