she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
