I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
