I wannas sexs uuuuu
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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