I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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