i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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