youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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